OK, so there is no excuse good enough to cover the fact that I haven't blogged in 2 weeks. Basically, life has gotten slightly out of order. I am still 99% in the challenge, just missing the journal entries. I shouldn't have ever made it a rule. I am awful at it. Jenny had a great idea. She emails herself these little messages and notes from the day every day and then compiles them into an entry weeks later. That sounds great, but I don't have a fancy phone and everytime I get on the computer it either attracts the kids attention or I am engulfed into the Facebook/Pinterest hole and next thing I know the kids are awake.
Basically, I have been reading my Bible reading plan 4-7 days/week. I am offering my days to God in the mornings, 2-7 days/week, I am going to bed with a clean kitchen 7/7 days/week and I am yelling at my kids 3-7 days/week. (Somehow, when I put this on paper, it doesn't look like I am doing all that well) I am not giving up, I have 11 more days to kill it!! We are going to the beach and sleeping in a hotel room with two kids for 5 days, we are going out with a bang!!
So, I am going to finish this challenge, I will not give up. Even if it lookds like I am not here, I am. I am here, tired actually exhausted, trying to survive in this house with two kids who are pushing the limits of my sanity everyday!!
Prayers needed!
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Saturday, day 75
Somehow, I think my kids are feeding off of my bad mood due to hormones! They are getting on my already crampy nerves.
Deep Breaths...
I have got to snap out of this mood. I have got to realize how wonderful my life is. How blessed I am. I feel God present in my life like never before. When I read my Bible at night, I feel God speaking to me. When I hear worship music, I hear God speaking to me. When I am reading this book about Praying scripture over my children, I am feeling God's presence. When I am reading this book about being a Happier Mother, God is speaking to me about valuing myself, the importance of including Godly women in my life and having a strong faith. But somehow, I still feel blah. at the hospital and at home.
It has got to be the hormones and this next week will bring a brighter outlook!
Deep Breaths...
I have got to snap out of this mood. I have got to realize how wonderful my life is. How blessed I am. I feel God present in my life like never before. When I read my Bible at night, I feel God speaking to me. When I hear worship music, I hear God speaking to me. When I am reading this book about Praying scripture over my children, I am feeling God's presence. When I am reading this book about being a Happier Mother, God is speaking to me about valuing myself, the importance of including Godly women in my life and having a strong faith. But somehow, I still feel blah. at the hospital and at home.
It has got to be the hormones and this next week will bring a brighter outlook!
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Friday, day 74
Today was a little weird, because I worked at the hospital and I never work on Fridays. Needless to say I was a little confused and kept writing the 7th on everything. Which doesn't make any sense at all.
I did however say little prayer and walk into the cable office after work. I didn't bomb the place or threaten anyone. I walked in calm and met the nicest man. the Lord was really watching over me, because I was a hormonal pissed off mommy! Dangerous! This nice man fixed all of my problems and I walked out with what I had 2 days ago for 1/2 the price. Now that is what should have happened yesterday and my day wouldn't have SUCKED!! I picked up my chidren as a happy mom and celebrated with Chick-fil-A. Not a bad way to start the weekend!
I did however say little prayer and walk into the cable office after work. I didn't bomb the place or threaten anyone. I walked in calm and met the nicest man. the Lord was really watching over me, because I was a hormonal pissed off mommy! Dangerous! This nice man fixed all of my problems and I walked out with what I had 2 days ago for 1/2 the price. Now that is what should have happened yesterday and my day wouldn't have SUCKED!! I picked up my chidren as a happy mom and celebrated with Chick-fil-A. Not a bad way to start the weekend!
Thursday, day 73
Actually I only needed to make it though the day without stabbing someone. It was the worst day for me! Between the awful cramps, enraging hormones and unfriendly people at Time Warner Cable, I almost lost my mind! I don't think that I can even begin to explain how bad it was. All I can say is that is ruined my day with my kids and as a mother, that pisses me off! I have nothing left for my husband after arguing with those stupid people for 2.5 hours. I was completely defeated... I just had to pray that I don't kill anyone when I go into the Time Warner cable office tomorrow to cancel my cable. Let's just say it was bad enough, that a margarita couldn't even make me feel better!
Wednesday, day 72
Happy 4th of July! Today I am thankful that my forefathers declared their independence from a country who was forcing their rules of law and religion. So that I could be a part of a country that would give me the FREEDOM to worship my God. "God bless America. My home sweet home!"
And to celebrate we had a roasting hot picnic at Crowder's Mtn followed by naps for all. We went to the pool and watched fireworks just like last night. It was a great end to two wonderful days together as a family.
Tuesday, day 71
Today we had a family fun 1/2 day at Carowinds. It was only 101 degrees outside with 70% humidity, but we survived and even kept the kids awake until after we got home so everyone could get a nap! Yeah baby! That's how you do it!
Somehow, my ability to keep the house "clean" has spilled a bit. Don't get me wrong, in the last 70 days I have not gone to bed but one time (2 days ago) with a dirty kitchen. Just so you know, it sucked to wake up and see the sink full of dishes and know that the dishwasher was full of clean dishes and that it was going to require effort to straighten up. I will have to work on that not happening again. I guess, I have not really cared about really cleaning in the last couple of days because I was too busy sleeping or wiping snot. Just a thought, not an excuse!
Oh yeah, and Matt has basically bailed on our Bible reading plan. He will listen to me while I read whatever chapter from the New Testament, but after that I just read quietly and try not to fall asleep. I mean I understand where he is coming from, Leviticus is difficult to read. Difficult to understand, strange to imagine (throwing blood on the side of the alter sounds really messy) and difficult to stay awake. I am trying to get something out of it... Although reading 2 chapters from Leviticus if hard, I am enjoying a Proverb each night. Some verses apply directly to my life.
* Let not you heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the Lord all day. Prov. 23:17
I think sometimes as a mother, you compare yourself to others. I have to remind myself that not everyone around me is walking in the way of the Lord, therefore I need not want to be like them.
Somehow, my ability to keep the house "clean" has spilled a bit. Don't get me wrong, in the last 70 days I have not gone to bed but one time (2 days ago) with a dirty kitchen. Just so you know, it sucked to wake up and see the sink full of dishes and know that the dishwasher was full of clean dishes and that it was going to require effort to straighten up. I will have to work on that not happening again. I guess, I have not really cared about really cleaning in the last couple of days because I was too busy sleeping or wiping snot. Just a thought, not an excuse!
Oh yeah, and Matt has basically bailed on our Bible reading plan. He will listen to me while I read whatever chapter from the New Testament, but after that I just read quietly and try not to fall asleep. I mean I understand where he is coming from, Leviticus is difficult to read. Difficult to understand, strange to imagine (throwing blood on the side of the alter sounds really messy) and difficult to stay awake. I am trying to get something out of it... Although reading 2 chapters from Leviticus if hard, I am enjoying a Proverb each night. Some verses apply directly to my life.
* Let not you heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the Lord all day. Prov. 23:17
I think sometimes as a mother, you compare yourself to others. I have to remind myself that not everyone around me is walking in the way of the Lord, therefore I need not want to be like them.
Monday, day 70
So, last night I learned that one of the doctors that I use to work with in the Emergency Department at CMC Main died, unexpectedly yesterday. It put quite the damper on the mood today. I prayed for his family that he left behind. I prayed that he was with Jesus and that his family had peace knowing that he was with Jesus.
It made me revisit my fears that I have people in my life that I love and I don't know where they would be if they died tomorrow. It is such a scary feeling and for some reason I feel helpless. Not because I don't believe that God can change people, but because I believe that God wants me to help lead some of these people to Himself and I don't know how. I mean, why is it that it is "easy" to tell a perfect stranger about Jesus? Or why can you speak so freely with friends or people you know do NOT believe, but you find it most hard to speak to those you love? My dad for example. Why am I not sure about his salvation? Why did he not want to go to church? Why doesn't he "want to talk about it"? Why am I scared to bring it up? Well, I do have the answer to that one. My brother has tried and was quickly shot down. I am afraid that I will bring it up and it will end badly, then ruin the little amount of time we get to share together. Definitely something to pray about...
Although today was a bit solemn, I worked 1/2 a day at the hospital and everyone is feeling a bit better. We get to enjoy the next two day off together as a family. Yay!
It made me revisit my fears that I have people in my life that I love and I don't know where they would be if they died tomorrow. It is such a scary feeling and for some reason I feel helpless. Not because I don't believe that God can change people, but because I believe that God wants me to help lead some of these people to Himself and I don't know how. I mean, why is it that it is "easy" to tell a perfect stranger about Jesus? Or why can you speak so freely with friends or people you know do NOT believe, but you find it most hard to speak to those you love? My dad for example. Why am I not sure about his salvation? Why did he not want to go to church? Why doesn't he "want to talk about it"? Why am I scared to bring it up? Well, I do have the answer to that one. My brother has tried and was quickly shot down. I am afraid that I will bring it up and it will end badly, then ruin the little amount of time we get to share together. Definitely something to pray about...
Although today was a bit solemn, I worked 1/2 a day at the hospital and everyone is feeling a bit better. We get to enjoy the next two day off together as a family. Yay!
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