Monday, day 70

So, last night I learned that one of the doctors that I use to work with in the Emergency Department at CMC Main died, unexpectedly yesterday.  It put quite the damper on the mood today.  I prayed for his family that he left behind.  I prayed that he was with Jesus and that his family had peace knowing that he was with Jesus. 
It made me revisit my fears that I have people in my life that I love and I don't know where they would be if they died tomorrow.  It is such a scary feeling and for some reason I feel helpless.  Not because I don't believe that God can change people, but because I believe that God wants me to help lead some of these people to Himself and I don't know how.  I mean, why is it that it is "easy" to tell a perfect stranger about Jesus?  Or why can you speak so freely with friends or people you know do NOT believe, but you find it most hard to speak to those you love?  My dad for example.  Why am I not sure about his salvation?  Why did he not want to go to church?  Why doesn't he "want to talk about it"?  Why am I scared to bring it up?  Well, I do have the answer to that one.  My brother has tried and was quickly shot down.  I am afraid that I will bring it up and it will end badly, then ruin the little amount of time we get to share together.  Definitely something to pray about...

Although today was a bit solemn, I worked 1/2 a day at the hospital and everyone is feeling a bit better.  We get to enjoy the next two day off together as a family.  Yay!